So... the afternoon was 1 step backwards but maybe 2 steps forwards now????
We went for a walk soon after lunch down the other end of the lake - Maylynn started out in the stroller - Lance put her in it while i was out of the room - we walked for about 20 minutes and then Lance said something to her that struck her sadness and she only wanted him to hold her for the rest of the walk - it was very sunny and very humid - we enjoyed some ice cream but by the time we got back to the hotel we were literally dripping with sweat - i know now why they are so skinny here - they sweat off the excess fat:) I have lost at least 4 pounds so far!! woo hoo:) and i love weighing myself in kilograms:)
Since we were so hot - we decided to try swimming. Well - she didn't like that too much... Lance was really bummed:( I really feel sorry for him - he is wearing out... So, we headed back to the room and decided since she wasn't happy with us anyway to go ahead and pop her in the tub. she was so sweaty from yesterday's ordeal and today's walk- yuck! She wasn't too crazy about the bath -cried but oh well... Lance and i gave it to her together. When she got out of the tub - i told Lance to go ahead and walk out and i'd finish her up (she wasn't happy anyway and it gave him a 2 minute break)
She finally settled down and then we were off to dinner. This dinner was alot better than last nights! We actually got to sit and eat together - before the dinner came we (mostly L.) played - she even gave a little giggle:) she really likes her cell phone - another big hit! Then she pretended to feed lance some dinner. Dinner actually came and she ate (in L. lap) - she loved the noodles. I kept telling him that he needed to eat too - i had the feeling that once she finished that she was going to be all done and ready to leave... sure enough - something triggered and she was upset... he took her to look at some fishtank - she sometimes likes piggyback rides -so cute:) i finished my dinner and then he came to try to eat - luckily he was able to eat some.
Instead of heading back up to the room - we decided to go sit down by the lake. We had a really nice time - we played some more with her phone and then at lollipops together:) We were really having a great time - then the bats came out! yikes! we (I) quickly walked back to the hotel! so here we are... i'm blogging - b/c i can and Lance is laying down with Shui Shui on his tummy watching Chinese cartoons... We leave at 6:30 am for Guilin - wish us luck with this airplane ride (only 1 hr.) and our time there.
When she gets really tired, she is very sad for her foster mom and all she wants to do is have Lance hold her standing up - not sitting or laying down - standing up - needless to say he is getting REALLY worn out:( This afternoon while trying to get her to nap - he just couldn't hold her anymore and just layed on the bed - she did everything she could to pull him up - eventually, she gave up and layed down next to him and closed her eyes for a little bit - enough to get a little bit of rest... I truly feel sorry for Lance and he is getting frustrated but i told him to remember that she is grieving- what if we were to lose someone and that at least he CAN hold her and he can do things with her and she won't cry -she needs him... truly, my heart is broken and i deep down i am sad too but i know that she will come around eventually- and i am just so happy and grateful that i am here with her and soon enough she will understand that i am now her mama:) We are still wondering if we should take her to the orphanage with us on Thursday - if anyone has any advice - please share it with us:)
Guilin Time
9 comments:
Oh my heartaches for MayLynn and for Lance! and for you!! Hang in there...you know it will get better and she IS grieving. I would take her to the orphanage. It will be a full circle moment; even if she sees her foster mom; it will provide her comfort and a closure. She's too young to understand that, but subconciously, it will register. Our daughter went thru the same thing (adopted at 19 months old). We took her and I even had a panic attack when the ayi's took her from me while we dining because she wouldn't stop crying. She did stop crying for them and I felt so terrible (for me), but when we left and took the 4 hour drive back to the hotel, she snuggled in tighter than ever before and was all smiles the next morning and for the rest of our journey. Prayers will be w/ you in whatever you decide. Oh...I wish I was going to Guilin w/ you. If you do visit, can you ask about Shen, Meiying for me? Her b-day is June 8, 2002; she just turned 7. We are waiting for LOA/TA and hope to travel by September. Thank you!
Hang tough my friend. You are both doing wonderful, and Maylynn is so fortunate to have you and Lance as parents.
About the orphange, didn't your friend Kari have a "turning point" moment with Mia when they went to Mia's orphange? I went to your old adoption site to look for the address to their Mia adoption site, but haven't had time to search through it. If you are interested it's www.almquistjourney.blogspot.com. Hope it helps.
As for Brayden, I know you haven't been able to SKYPE with him and are probably wondering how he's doing. I facebooked Meghan Walker who is on staff at Ghormley this summer to ask how the boys are doing. She said they are haaving so much fun, and that she'd keep her eye out for them. I'll have him send you an email when he gets home on Thursday.
Keep up the good work. Know how loved you are and what a mighty God you serve!
E
Found it - Almquist's visit to orphanage is in the Oct. 2005 file, and it was a turning point for Mia.
Kirsten, so glad that Maylynn is eating. I, too would take her to the orphanage. We adopted Bailey at the age of about 38 months. She grieved HARD. We did take her to the SWI and she did cry for her ayi (Hu Yan) but I was so glad that we were able to take her there so that she could see her Hu Yan again and so that they could say goodbye. Hu Yan was ayi to both Brinley and Bailey so we were happy too that Brinley and Hu Yan could visit together again.
Pray about it and you will know what is right for Maylynn. I have friends who did not return to the orphanage with their daughter and they are very glad they didn't. They said they just knew it wasn't the right thing to do for her.
Enjoy Guilin. It is a beautiful city. The people are kind and outgoing. Try to visit the street market at night. It is an amazing site to behold all of the things for sale and it is like a party atmosphere all up and down the street. Families walking along together laughing and enjoying the evening.
Congratulations again!
Sharon
www.ourfamilyourstory.com
Kirsten, I know it's tough on a daddy to be the round-the-clock mommy. I promise, this will get better. I'm praying for endurance and strength for the two of you. Our Nanning group of girls all clung to their daddies, and it was tough. But we spent 3 weeks in China, and by the time we left we saw an amazing turnaround. Your poor baby is grieving, and it's so hard watching it and not being able to do anything. Hopefully your efforts to comfort and provide for her will begin chipping away at her grief. Hugs to you!
God uses all things to bring us closer to him. There are SO MANY similarities in your story, right here, as it compares to our walks with the Lord. We are all a bit like your little girl when hard times come around or God changes our scenery! Such profound, heart-breaking, and tearful similarities!
In the meantime, praying for you and Lance for wisdom, strength, endurance and perseverance! HUGS!
Hang in there things do get better!! We are praying for you guys. God knows what he is doing....
My Moli was 3.5 when we got her (in Nanning, from Guilin.) She grieved TERRIBLY for her foster mother. She only wanted to be touched/held/bathed by my husband.
One day I sent Jamie out with the guide to do the touristy stuff so she was "stuck" with me that day. We took stroller rides and baths and blew bubbles. She wasn't happy but she did tolerate it and it helped.
The SWI visit was HARD but so worth it. The foster mother told her "Go with her. She is your mommy now. She will take you to Pizza Hut." She still grieved after that but she had a peace. I think she needed the fm's permission.
Anyway, our stories are so similar. You are on my heart. In just a few short weeks our daughter adjusted to life with us in the US, as will your sweet girl.
Oh... those first days were so tough for Kate. We are praying for you, Lance, and Maylynn. I was so nervous about taking Kate to see her foster family, but it too was a turning point for Kate. I think that it was good for her to see me with her foster mom... even though things could not be explained verbally to Kate I think that she understood that it was okay for her to go with me.
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